today was very bad for me...i reallydon't belong to a certain clique I wish i had REAL friends. I am failing most of  my classses and i really want to get good grades and all gut i shouldn't be failing...i m on at least a b  aveage student i shouldn't be failing the class. BUT I AM. I hate this school. i have soo much pressure and stress....and i keep getting slammed with these bookreports.......I WiSh that in one point of muh life i was actually happy....You may think i have a great life when you look at me but on the inside i am felling soo much pain...i would like to get away ffrom all this crap and peer pressure......I want to be happy and not think of the things that make me wanna suicide. I  hate when ppl call me gay.... it make me lose concentration...i t makes me think of that all day. It haunts me all the time.... I am slowy slipping away from reality. I am so depressed i don't like this school. i have very little to look forward to. the only thing keeping me from suicide is most my friends and muh family...I want to transfer schools to maybe a boarding school in florida where i can play tennis at an academy and learn there too. or maybe i could go live in san jo with muh cousins......it to me would be sooo much better.i don't even deserve to live. Sometimes when i feel like this i think of how i shouldn't be here on this planet with these other ppl. Some of my friends and i are drifting apart from each other. I feel so alone sometimes actually all the time, even when i am in a big group no one listens to me. I don't know what can save me if all this builds up on me.....i know u cant see it rite now but i am mentally dying right now.... Now i have to get bac to my horrible life. thanks for listening...

sad..Ne.Ss ...T.A..kES. .o.Va...

st..re.Ss B..ui.LDs... up..

                              ..brandon..